King Vick the Generous

Mike Vick made a heartfelt donation of $10,000 to his alma mater yesterday to the families of the victims of the shooting. Some might think this a touching and generous gesture until they examine the situation a little bit closer. Vick had a 2006 cap number of about $7.5M. Not even factoring in any of his endorsement income which is sure to be plentiful, he gave a donation of 0.00133 of his income to the cause of the victims. That would be the equivalent of your average joe making $40k donating $52 to the cause. Sure it's nice that he's making donations to charity but an athlete such as himself donating such a small amount is not even worth writing the press release. He probably pays more a year in car insurance.

Vick opens Thunderbird Emporium

Michael Vick has made the latest splash on the Atlanta restaurant with the opening of his new wine themed restaurant, The Tasting Room. The Tasting Room will focus on providing a fine dining culture for the urbane gangster. The restaurant will feature a dress code that requires sports coats, platinum jewelry, and does not allow guns, though the booths come with bulletproof glass shields just in case. The menu will offer the thuggish delights that patrons are accustomed to. Thunderbird, Cisquo, Night Train and other citrus wine favorites headline the wine portion of the menu. However if wine does not strike the palate that night, one can grab an Old English, Schlitz, or Mickey's which are all available on tap or in a frosted 40. The food is a delightful fare of barbecued and fried pork products sprinkled in with the occasional catfish dish. Dessert is served off of the nude bodies of strippers as they lay horizontal on tables in front of the customer. No detail is left to chance as even the aroma of the place, a pungent dank indescribable mixture, reminds patrons of the urban culture. On the whole the restaurant rates at a solid five pimp smacks and is sure to become part of the Atlanta night scene for years to come.

Falcons finally bonding as a team

Sometimes in life we get so close to our pets that we start to take on their characteristics ourselves, proving the bond that we have is real. With athletic teams, team unity is highest when players start to take on the qualities of the team's name. When Notre Dame players start getting drunk and growing beer muscles, team unity is strong. When the Minnesota Vikings start chartering boats for the purposes of drunken debauchery and wild orgies, the players are really starting to feel personal ownership in making the franchise successful. When the Browns start playing like poop on the field and living like crap off of it, team bonds just can't get any stronger.

Luckily for the Falcons, it seems as if the offseason is coming together quite nicely. Jonathan Babineaux is starting to feel the call of the Falcon and expressed his urges to hunt prey by killing a dog. New coach Bobby Petrino probably hasn't even met with the team yet and already such displays of offseason loyalty and bonding from a player that wasn't even a captain. I'm sure that Petrino will have his eye on a certain someone when it comes time to pick those captains though. Speaking of team captains, Michael Vick is already talking about rounding up the players for a team bonding event to get them "high" enough to soar through the season like real wild Falcons.