Quick Flash 03/28/2007 - Gina Carano

• Frank Gore gets a new deal. Good thing for him since he probably only has a year or two left in those knees.
• Roger Federer loses match. Rivers run with blood. Death of first born child imminent.
• Old March Madness fame dies hard, crazy fans are tough to shake no matter how small a market you are playing in, and the ABA pays in chicken nuggets.
• Prime example of why chicks should not be sportswriters: They lack logic and reason.
• 350lb lineman can do a backflip. If NFL dreams fail, has career as sideshow freak as a fallback (or is it a flipback in this case?).
• Sidney Lowe's son is a criminal but not a Bungle, but team is likely impressed with the 22 charges pending against him..
• Chris Henry gets arrested again and is for sure a Bungle.
• OJ Mayo calls the shots in his life and give his cell number to no one.
• Could Dhani Jones soon be free to go dancin' in the streets?

Federer breaks Connor's record, excitement abounds

Roger Federer did the impossible this weekend as he vanquished Jimmy Connor's long held record of 160 consecutive weeks holding the top ranking on the Men's Tennis Tour. For the purpose of relevance, this is the equivalent of Cal Ripken's consecutive games streak, Joe Dimaggio's hitting streak, and Pacman Jone's unbelievable ability to hold a job. Tennis fans around the world celebrated wildly by quietly drinking champagne at their local country club while griping about school integration. Casual observers of tennis commemorated the occassion by falling asleep instantly upon hearing the news, marking the event with a special nap taking place while working, driving, and even in one case while tightrope walking.