Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Browns following Bungles model

The Cleveland Browns did much to tread the path of becoming the Northern Ohio version of the Cincinnati Bungles when they announced the signing of RB Jamal Lewis, formerly of the Baltimore Ravens. Lewis is a very rare commodity among today's modern athlete. a four month veteran of the Federal Prison System for his involvement in a cocaine distribution ring.

Despite the many members of the media spouting about the bad behavior of today's modern athlete, rarely do any of them ever end up in jail, let alone Federal Prison. That makes Jamal Lewis a leader of sorts in a Browns locker room without any. K2 may talk like a solja and a thug, but he grew up in a world of wealth and privilege and has never slung rock. K2 is too busy crashing motorcycles to be a leader. Braylon may act like a hot shot, team chemistry saboteur, but he has never faced the horrors of anal rape in the shower and lived to strut bow legged around the prison yard. Edwards is too busy posing for homoerotic model shots on his website to care about the team. Poor young Charlie Frye had never even seen a four story building before he got to Cleveland, let alone navigated the "pass rush" in the showers of the incarcerated. How can a boy so tender and gentle lead them? Frye has yet grow chest hairs.

Jamal Lewis is the answer to the question of how to get the Browns to the level of the Bungles. And at 27, he should still have enough gangsta in him to make a difference. He will provide the thugish leadership that is desperately missing. He will teach the young pups on the team how to be dawgs by imparting all the tricks of the trade. Tricks that he learned from his own experiences and picked up from the murderers, drunk drivers, and thieves that he was associated with over the years. Lewis should step right in at captain and fill the criminal leadership void that was left when Gerard Warren and Mike Sellers left the team. The rest of the NFL should watch out. The Browns are a team on the rise. With any luck they will follow in the footsteps of the Bungles, mediocre enough to offer hope of the playoffs while coming up short when it counts, this season.

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