Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Randy Couture beats Tim Sylvia via submission in the 3rd round. Sylvia might be the most unathletic champion at any level of UFC, simply getting by on scoring points with his long arms and the occasional KO. Even in his 40s and coming out of retirement, Couture will dominate Sylvia on the ground and regain his heavyweight championship.
Matt Hughes defeats Chris Lytle via submission in the 2nd round. Hughes is angry after his defeat at the hands of Georges St. Pierre and will be driven to destroy Lytle. Lytle stands no chance against an angry Matt Hughes.
Rich Franklin over Jason MacDonald via TKO in the 3rd round. Franklin is looking to regain his championship luster after a brutal and savage demolition by Anderson Silva that really did rearrange his face (see video below). No one in the UFC works harder than Franklin and I am sure that he is ready to punish MacDonald, whose only victories are over Ultimate Fighter non-winners.
Drew McFedries defeats Martin Kampmann via TKO in the 2nd round in what is sure to be a brawl between the two heavy handed punchers looking to make a splash in the UFC.
"We gotta slow down, man. We gotta get him focused on football, man. He's
focused on too much other s****," Moore said.
"You know, I was talkin' to him the other day about smokin', and he was
like ‘man, if I didn't smoke I couldn't take all the stress that I'm dealing
with right now,'" Moore said.
"Fisher's being as patient as a m*****f***** as he can. Fisher gotta win.
Fisher trying to win...He ain't putting up with that s***," Moore said.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Tommy Morrison has added AIDS to the lengthy list of opponents that he has defeated in his lifetime. At a glance, such a claim would seem impossible, until you take a look at what Morrison has already beaten in his life: Poverty, child abuse, hillbillyness, Rocky's shadow, George Foreman, Razor Ruddock, a vasectomy, crystal meth, prison rape, and the 650 other actors he beat out to play Tommy Gunn. The list of defeated opponents just goes on and on, but Tommy Morrison just keeps on winning. And now he is the first white man to beat AIDS and just the second male ever (Magic Johnson was the first) to defeat the dreaded disease. How could he do it? It was not that long ago that his T-cell count was down to a drastically low 18 (from a normal level between 500 and 1500), and now, just a few years later, to have no trace of HIV in his system is simply amazing. Tommy credits the strength of his blood (he does have John Wayne in his direct lineage) and a blood exercise program that he designed in prison in which he would gradually trade out his infected blood with another inmate's clean blood, all during regular prison rape style intercourse. To most guys in prison, anal rape is all about fun and play. But Tommy was different. While he had a good time too, he was there to work, and, with a little luck, save his life. Within a few years of following this anal rape exercise program, the HIV virus was completely gone from his system and spread to over 200 other prison inmates. Morrison was clean. Clean and victorious once again. The next opponent on Tommy's fight schedule is his own foolishness and stupidity, which has been one of his main adversaries his entire adult life. But for those of you counting Tommy out in this fight, I wouldn't bet on it.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
"You get tired everyday comin' back to ya crib and all you be hearin' is yo'
boys clownin' you, saying you ain't got it no mo. That you done. I was startin'
to believe 'em too. I've been tryin' but I just ain't been performin' like I
know I can."
"All that hard work I did. Slammin' that ho's head against the stage. Musta
been five times. Bitin' that fool bouncer. Havin' my boyz go out blazin' out in
the lot. And still, it almost all went unnoticed. They wanted to bring me in as a witness, 'stead of arrestin' me. I told 'em, check the tape, check the tape, that's all the witness you need. Tryin' to give someone else the credit. That's how life always go. Some other fool tryin' to take credit for what you worked hard for. I'm back.
Don't be talkin' how I fell off. I'm back."
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
"At one point I had to pull into a gas station and get some more Thunderbird. I
was starting to lose my buzz and I wasn't about to let that happen. I get
drunker as the night goes on. I'm a fourth quarter playa.
Marvin! Marvin! I did this for you. All for you."
"They won't know when we'll be coming. But they'll know we have by
the white creamy discharge. It will be a painful but tender moment
that none of them will ever forget. I'm gonna give The Glove a taste of a
little more than my backhand"
Here's hoping that Payton, Cassell, and Caffey can hide in the protection of the public eye. Wait a minute? Where's Caffey? I haven't heard from him in a while? Uh oh? White creamy revenge.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Luckily for the Falcons, it seems as if the offseason is coming together quite nicely. Jonathan Babineaux is starting to feel the call of the Falcon and expressed his urges to hunt prey by killing a dog. New coach Bobby Petrino probably hasn't even met with the team yet and already such displays of offseason loyalty and bonding from a player that wasn't even a captain. I'm sure that Petrino will have his eye on a certain someone when it comes time to pick those captains though. Speaking of team captains, Michael Vick is already talking about rounding up the players for a team bonding event to get them "high" enough to soar through the season like real wild Falcons.
- Dwight Gooden - Just like Britney, Dr. K was on top of the world at such a young age, winning the Rookie of the Year Award at 19, becoming the youngest to ever win the Cy Young at 20, winning the MLB pitching triple crown (most wins, most K's, lowest ERA), and winning the World Series at 21. A nice start. Then Gooden fell into a world of cocaine, booze, and rape accusations that left him reeling and ultimately resulted in his immense talent going unfulfilled. Main difference with Britney is that she was more popular than Dr. K, but she was never really talented...she was just hot.
- OJ Simpson - OJ was America's darling, winning the Heisman Trophy at the nation's premier football factory and then marching into the NFL and becoming the only player to rush for over 2,000 yards in what was then only a 14 game season. He then parlayed his sports career into a very successful career as a broadcaster and a pitchman. He was also a decent comedic actor. Then something inexplicably happen to derail OJ's career. To this day that particular event remains unaccounted for. His fans are still hunting for what really happened to his career. Main difference with Britney is that OJ's career took a long time to fall apart and even was able to retire from one profession and move on to others before everything fell apart.
- Jose Canseco - Began things on the right foot by winning the Rookie of the Year and shortly thereafter becoming the first player in baseball history to hit 40 homer and steal 40 bases in the same season. He also teamed with Mark McGwire to win a World Series and later picked one up as a hanger on with the Yankees. His career began a slow decline into irrelevance from a constant stream of bizarre incidents like letting a ball bounce of his head and over the wall as an outfielder, trying to pitch and blowing out his arm, and various domestic violence issues with his wives. After he retired, he further blighted his career by pointing out that steroid were the culprit for most of his success and telling on some other people in the process. Main difference with Britney is that Jose also got to retire from one career before he torched all of his accolades with steroid abuse. The equivalent would be if Brittney had retired and then sent out pre-airbrushed pictures of all of her photo shoots to everyone in the media.
- Maurice Clarett - He had a nice two year run by winning the national offensive player of the year award as a high school senior, becoming the first freshman to ever start a game for Ohio State, and leading the team to a national title over a heavily favored Miami team by making a spectacular strip of a game altering interception and then scoring the winning touchdown in overtime. Then he got suspended for taking money from boosters, victoriously sued to enter the NFL draft only to lose on appeal, showed up at the Combine the next year really fat and ran a 4.8+ 40, was somehow drafted after this and negotiated a contract that paid him only in unlikely to reach incentives, was cut before the season after bitching about not starting while being twenty pounds overweight and drinking vodka in the weight room,robbed someone at gunpoint for a cell phone in a town where everyone knows his face, and finally getting stopped by police at the conclusion of a high speed chase in a car filled with loaded guns and a hatchet while drinking vodka. Main difference from Britney is that Mo's career never reached the great heights that hers did, with him only getting a two year run at the top before shooting himself in the foot until it died.
- Ricky Williams - He won the Heisman Trophy in his senior year of college and was so sought after by the NFL that Mike Ditka traded all of his draft picks to move up and select him in the first round. Ricky even appeared on the cover of a magazine dressed as a bride to Ditka's groom. He had some good seasons and even made the Pro Bowl with the Dolphins. Then he inexplicably retired on the eve of the season. Later it was discovered that he failed a drug test and would have to sit out a year. He became a hippy and moved to California to learn about some strange Indian herbal medicine garbage. Then after a lawsuit from the Dolphins he came back only to get injured and then fail another test after smoking marijuana. Currently he is in the CFL where there is no drug testing. Main difference from Britney is that though Ricky's collapse was swift and prominent, it lacked the sadness of hers and became simply just a comical pothead trying not to smoke long enough to play football. Ricky probably won't be making porn in five years or in a mental institution either.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Friday, February 16, 2007
"You know, I hate straight people, so I let it be known. I don't likeTim Hardaway is rumored to be in hiding for fear that the gay community will teach him the true meaning of Killer Crossover.
straight people and I don't like to be around straight people," he said while a
guest on Sirius OutQ 109 Gay Radio. "I'm heterophobic. I don't like it. It
shouldn't be in the world or in the United States, especially around Key West,
Provincetown, or San Francisco."
Thursday, February 15, 2007
"My first step is to focus on the Chernobyl-affected region, where my
family has roots," Sharapova said Wednesday during a ceremony at the United
Nations. "Today, it is poverty and lack of opportunities that pose the greatest
threat for young people in the Chernobyl region."
I can't get over all of the people on blogs who just jump all over Bill Simmons like that is some sort of meaningful outlet for their failed expectations in life. Like this guy who pores over every word of Sports Guy's last article, bashing it for every little inaccuracy or silly hypothesizing. Guess what douchebag, without Simmons you wouldn't be in your Grandma's basement playing World of Warcraft and writing your little blog. The guy was a pioneer and everyone turns on him just because ESPN has made him a millionaire. Mocking him is like mocking a much more successful (and funny) version of yourself.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Here is an interview Tim Hardaway did with Dan Lebetard earlier today. Sure sounds like he doesn't like gay people. I sincerely hope for him that he never ends up in prison or lives in the Bay Area again. He is likely to get picked up by a pink and pastel colored mobbed, stripped naked, and pounded mercilessly until he dies from rectal hemorrhaging or a ruptured esophagus.
Lebetard: How do you deal with a gay teammate?
TH: Ewww. First of all I wouldn’t want him on my time. Second of all, you know if he was on my team, I would, you know, really distance myself from him cause I don’t think that’s right and you know he shouldn’t be in the locker room while we’re in the locker room. There’s a whole lot of other things. I wouldn’t even be a part of that but you know, the stuff like that going on, there’s a lot of other people out here like that, that’s still in the closet and don’t want to come out the closet, um, I’ll just leave that alone.
Lebetard: You know that what you’re saying there Timmy is flatly homophobic. Right? It’s bigotry.
TH: Well you know I hate gay people. I let it be known. I don’t like to be around gay people. I’m homophobic. I don’t like it. It shouldn’t be in the world or the United States. I don’t like it.
20;00 - The horrid snowstorm reeking havoc in the Midwest makes me quite happy that I relocated to the west coast in October. You know the weather is bad when the lead photo is a group of college kids engaged in a savage snowball fight.
Halftime - My signal is back and Ohio St is up 40-19. Looks like I missed some scoring. I wonder how Jamelle Cornley's vendetta quest is going. Maybe he'll poison Oden and Cook at halftime. The two have combined to score one point less than the entire Penn St team.