Friday, February 16, 2007

General Tso targets D-Mat

Daisuke Matsuzaka showed up at Red Sox camp looking like he put on a few pounds. He explained the weight gain by directing all fault to the evil General Tso, who has enslaved many around the world with his cunning flavor and clandestine obesity protocol. Matsuzaka claims to have been targeted by Tso shortly after signing his record deal with the Red Sox. He says things could have been much worse if he hadn't forked over the diet protection money to keep him in the General's good graces.

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