Quick Flash 05/24/2007 - Kaitlin Sandeno

• The winner of last night's NBA game was...oh yeah, they didn't schedule a game so that they could really drag out the playoffs longer than they should.
• Apolo Anton Ohno wins Dancing With the Stars and he did it without tripping any Koreans.
• Clemens gets roughed up in minor league start. Must have been that 6-legged turkey he ate on the Madden Cruiser. Those things have a way of upsetting stomachs.
• Penn State players will clean up the stadium after home games this season. I always knew that those guys were convicts. Now they're starting to act like them.
• Yanks dump the loud mouthed Curt Schilling as the Sox get pasted.

Quick Flash 05/23/2007 - Anna Rawson

After a nearly two week hiatus. The Donkey Carnival returns with a vengence.

• Ducks eliminate Red Wings again, proving that a duck wearing a hockey mask will beat a tire with wings any day of the week.
• Spurs go up on Jazz 2-0 as a boring Finals inches closer and closer.
• Red Sox pound Yanks as they continue to dominate despite Manny and Drew still not hitting.
• Nats continue their improbable hot streak as they drop the lowly Reds.
  

Quick Flash 05/10/2007 - Dara Torres

• Warriors choke up in OT to fall two down to the Jazz as their Cinderella run looks over.
• Suns even things up as Nash is able to stop bleeding enough to play most of the game and to frighten Tony Parker.
• Stupidest article ever written. She should have her press pass revoked.
• Dale Earnhardt Jr. leaving DEI in some hick NASCAR feud that makes no sense.
• Roger Federer actually loses again. Some even think he is slumping.
• Zumaya out 3 months with "non" Guitar Hero related finger injury.

Quick Flash 05/08/2007 - Amy Taylor

• Pistons beat Bulls like Hitler took over Poland. Quick, embarrassing, and with no challenge.
• Rumors of a Dirk for KG swap this offseason? Rumors of a Phoenix jump up in this draft?
• Steve Smith gets a sick contract, does not celebrate by cold cocking teammate in film session.
• Red Wings advance to next round of playoffs. San Jose just could not put it together in sold out arena of crickets chirping.
• The traitor Carlos Boozer grabs 20 boards as the Jazz beat the Warriors.
• Chris Capuano shows his filthy, filthy stuff in shutout of weak Washington bats.

Steve Nash is a Cold-Blooded Bad Ass

Steve Nash has been showing a killer instinct this year that is just not expected from a seemingly laid back Canadien with really long hair. Even though the Spurs won yesterday, Nash likely scared the bejesus out of them as he sat on the bench profusely bleeding from his wounded nose as he never flinched or lost the killer gaze in his eyes. He came upon the bleeding nose after a collision with Tony Parker's head. Parker, however, was the one who went down to the grown in a heap of tears and pain, writhing around like a wounded school girl. Nash merely walked away like nothing had even happened. Not even a wince of pain. I would be worried to be the Spurs or Tony Parker going forward.

Quick Flash 05/07/2007 - Gisela Dulko

• Warren Sapp loses 40lbs. Could he be the new Trimspa spokesperson?
• Cavs drop the Nets as the supporting cast comes up big for Lebron.
• Brewers move to best record in baseball as Donkey Carnival predictions continue to do well so far.
• Tiger wins Wachovia as no one is surprised.
• Amaechi underestimated America in terms of its reaction to his coming out. Maybe what he really underestimated was our lack of ability to be shocked or really care about anything.
• Van Gundy to follow old mantra: When the going gets tough, quit.
• Atlanta CB get caught with guns and E, but at least he's not involved in dog fighting.

Mavs Crap The Bed

What else is there to say when your MVP caliber player comes up with only 8 points in one of the most important games of his career? Losing to an 8 seed after winning 67 games. Nice work fellas.

Quick Flash 05/04/2007 - Jackie Frank

• A great fake blog written by "Carl Pavano."
• Jazz beat Rockets to force game 7, AK-47 has to postpone plans for offseason "cheat" weekend.
• Artest gets 100 hours of community service and ten days of a work project. No word yet on whether the work project will involve setting up a community dog fighting center.
• Vick was connected to pit bull breeding at the dog fighting house via a website.
• Randy Moss not really the jerk he is made out to be.

Quick Flash 05/03/2007 - Tara Lipinski

• Beckett wins again as he moves to 6-0. Could this finally be the Beckett we've waited all these years to see for a full season?
• Red Wings win in OT to even the series against the Sharks.
• Suns finish off the Lakers. Kobe plans relaxing trip to Colorado...maybe not.
• Nuggets go down to Spurs, realize they won't get much better than they are now and just give up.
• Cardinals get swept and whooped by the Brew Crew with the team so shocked by the death of Josh Hancock that they are swinging the bats like drunk drivers.
• Brandon Roy wins Rookie of the Year as "Roy wins ROY" headlines abound.

Quick Flash 05/01/2007 - Anna Kournikova

• Sharks beat the Red Wings in the third to go up 2-1 in the series.
• Cavs sweep Wizards as Lebron reminds fans how good things can be when he actually tries.
• Spurs go up 3-1 on the Nuggets. Camby starts thinking of injuries that he will sit out with during next season.
• Tracy McGrady dishes out 16 assists as Rockets top Jazz despite Tracy getting a mysterious back/abdominal injury again.
• Hallyday smokes the Rangers with his ace-like stuff. Yankees wonder why they didn't overpay for him a few years ago.
• Brandon Webb cuts down the Dodgers. Randy Johnson feels team can make playoffs if he can create time machine.

2007 NBA Playoffs Preview.

Pistons and Cavs advance to the conference finals, Cleveland after a hard fought 4-3 series win over the surprising Nets. The Pistons take down the Cavs for the second year in a row after the Pistons shut down the Cavs driving duo of James and Hughes and forces them to settle for 3s that they can't hit consistently.

Suns and Mavs meet up in the West finals in what will become one of the epic series of all time. The Mavs win with a 4-3 all timer featuring a game low score of 112. Josh Howard becomes the key to the series as his defense shuts down Shawn Marion.

The Finals will belong to the Mavs as they are victorious over the Pistons with a 4-2 series that looks closer than it ever was. The Pistons lack of depth and speed is exposed. Howard shuts down Hamilton and wins the Finals MVP.