Welcome to the grand opening of the Donkey Carnival. Fresh fruit and General Tso's chicken is available toward the back left of the room on the buffet table. The mission of the Donkey Carnival is to offer a delightful and preposterous take on the world of sports, traversing everything from the mundane to the obscure, always mindful of mocking the establishment big whigs at ESPN, SI, and the major networks as much as humanly possible. After all people need to be called out for their foolishness. It only helps them improve their craft or, even better, leads to their premature retirements. Enjoy and feel free to mock me as well, only when I deserve it of course. Not simply for trying to take your teenage daughter to prom. I can't be blamed for that.