Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Found Big Daddy?

A mystery that has puzzled scientists over the past few weeks may have solve a puzzle for the Miami Dolphins. At least 60 bottlenosed dolphins have been stranded on Texas beaches over the past few weeks resulting in their deaths. Deaths are not uncommon during calving season but this year the number is four times what is considered normal. Most of the carcasses were in such an advanced state of decomposition that autopsies were unable to be performed. It is possible that missing Dolphins DT Dan "Big Daddy" Wilkinson was apart of this migration. Although Wilkinson's age makes it unlikely, Dolphins have been known to leave the pod and have a mid-life crisis in order to mate with much younger females. Wilkinson may have left the pod as well on a mating expedition but his obesity may have led to his demise by making him too fat to swim properly.

All everyone can do for the moment is speculate. It is too early to tell if one of the dolphin carcasses that washed up on the beaches of Texas was a 6'4", 350lb black man who went to Ohio State. Wilkinson's dental records may have to be utilized to identify him. Then again he may simply be off in some secluded lagoon hideaway with a much younger female. Regardless scientists are taking no chances in figuring out what happened to Wilkinson and the other dolphins. They have brought in Mike Shanahan, Big Daddy's future coach and noted Ultimate Leader, to help sort through the situation by organizing the groups of scientists into research teams and consulting the horde of bounty hunters that he uses to scout players. The Ultimate Leader has utilized this team of bounty hunters during the acquisitions of Maurice Clarett, Gerard Warren, and Bill Romanowski.

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