Sunday, April 1, 2007

Jim Davis - 6 Million Dollar Man

Jim Davis may be the proof that a government robotics program exists. It cannot be explained any other way. For those of you that don't know, Jim Davis is a 43 year old New Jersey native who was scheduled to be on a reality TV show that was cancelled. That in itself is not remarkable. What is remarkable is that Davis was on the program attempting to win a tryout with an NFL team. Why would a 43 year old who has never played high school or college football want to try out with an NFL team? Because he can bench 500lbs and run a 4.5 40.

What? How can a 43 year old do that? Robotics is the answer. If he were any sort of athlete he would have played high school football. I mean everyone who likes football and can play, plays high school football. So he must not have been athletic enough back then. But now at 43 he all of a sudden is a freak of nature athlete? Some intrepid reporter needs to find the scoop in this story. They need to research Davis' recent past and see if he was involved in any terrible accidents that would result in cyborg part replacements for his lost limbs and arms. Also someone needs to check and see if he makes that "eh eh eh eh eh uh uh uh" noise when he move. I want to be a robot athlete. This isn't fair.

1 comment:

Jim Davis said...

No robotics here, but I loved the article. I couldn't play in high school because when I wanted to tryout they didn't have enough kids. I started off in the Marine Corps (maybe that is where the robotics were added to me)and have weightlifted for the last 15 years. I probably am a freak of nature.