Monday, January 30, 2012

Hollywood can be worse

Don't get me wrong.  I absolutely despise the fact that every movie that comes out these days is a sequel, or a remake, or a redone book where brilliant Hollywood minds change the details that made the book such a success in the first place.  But despite all of that crap, they really aren't ripping the consumer off like they used to in the 70s and 80s.  They really used to just toss any old implausible shit up on the screen and know the idiots would still come see it.  The 70s brought us Joe Namath and Jim Brown headlining movies like they were real actors.  Toss any old singer up there, doesn't matter it will sell.

Anyway I'm on this rant because I woke up to "Across the Tracks" playing the other day, starring none other than Brad Pitt and Rick Shroeder.  Nothing in this abortion makes any sense for even a moment.  First of all they try to pretend like distance runners in this white trash podunk town they're in are the cool kids.  Not just cool, but hardo badasses.  Shroeder came straight out of reform school after all.  Nowhere in the world does such a place exists.  Best case scenario the distance runners are "cool" enough to walk around without getting shoved in lockers and atomic wedgied.  Secondly Brad Pitt is running desperately to get a scholarship to Stanford or else he's stuck at the local community college.  So it's the best academic school in the western USA or a community college?  Yeah, that makes a ton of sense.  I'm sure none of the other 100+ D1 track programs out there can possibly give this kid a look.  One and done.  Yeah I'm sure financial aid is out of the question too.  Last I checked schools were bending over backwards trying to lock kids up into crappy loans and mountains of debt.  In between Brad saves the local citizenry by tossing $5k of nameless "drugs" into the river and the dealers not only show up to fight without any weapons, but the tough guy distance runners smoke them and that's the end of it.  I also learned that drinking two 40s causes a 15+ hour under-a-bridge pass-out.

As much as I abhor seeing Will Smith's gay little kid set up for a whole run of Karate Kid franchises, at least the movies have a quasi-somewhat reasonable plot.  We no longer have to watch utter dogshit where enforcer distance runners take to the streets and clean up the drug trade in a rural shithole.  Until Hollywood remakes "Across the Tracks" of course.

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