Thursday, March 15, 2007

The Great Kobe Bryant Witch Trials

Kobe Bryant, master of the flying elbow and expensive apology jewelry, is in hot water at the moment as a result of that mysterious flying elbow/follow through on the jumper. After the latest incident involving Marco Jaric occurred, the NBA is taking a closer look at Kobe Bryant. Lakers coach Phil Jackson, noted master of the spiritual, is calling the investigation a "witch hunt". It is not that far fetched to think that Phil Jackson's brilliance is on such a farther plane than ours that he sees the situation for what it really is. He knows that the source of Kobe's basketball ability is the use of witchcraft and hexes on other teams (like the Kings and Blazers specifically).

Questions should have arose earlier when an upper middle class child of affluence and education displayed such a hunger and drive to excel in a sport dominated by those growing up impoverished. And then there was the way he was able to "magically" extricate himself from legal responsibility after "allegedly" raping a hotel employee in Colorado. And now being able to drain jumpers while simultaneously smashing opponents in the face with an elbow. Kobe has just had too much coincidental magic happen during his career to think that he wasn't involved in witchcraft. Let's hope that David Stern can uncover the root of the evil in this equation and come up with an appropriate punishment for Kobe.

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